Difference is difference


Just a casual innocent talk turned unexpectedly sour a few weeks ago coincided with my catching a bad cold. It didn't happen between the person I was chatting with and me but it did between the person we were talking about and me. I somehow could manage to avoid the unnecessary conflict before it actually happened but it also taught me something important. That is...

There are certain differences some just cannot understand that they eventually blame you for being different from them :(

Since we are all different, our experiences and the environment we breathe in are also different. There are, of course, things we have in common but the way we've got to that common place is often different. So it sometimes doesn't work out even if you think it's the right explanation of the problem just because the person you are trying to explain it to doesn't get what you are talking about. Then, all you can do is trying different explanations repeatedly until the person starts getting the picture of it. Your patience and imagination are constantly tested in that process... very tiring and to be honest, a waste of imaginative power, really.

There are certain people who don't accept who they really are. They tend to justify whatever they say or do or have done in the past to prove they have no responsibility for the problem in question. But the interesting thing is that kind of behavior only proves they are what they are denying right on the sopt especially when they insist the same thing again and again. If you are confident of who you are, you don't have to insist it. People around you get it right and don't doubt it at all. They get your metaphysical messages assisting who you are without hearing any words from you. In the opposite case, they get your metaphysical messages against what you are saying, which is actually a proof of your shallow understanding of yourself. And that's exactly what happened while I was trying to solve the problem.

No one can make anyone aware of what really is behind a certain behavior. Me? I gave up in the end. I just accepted what the person said knowing there would be a possibility that might put me in worse trouble in the future unless I'm very careful of placing the person in the right place of my friend circle. I don't want to put my lovely friends in trouble, either.

It's easy for anyone to see and accept their obvious differences from others. There are also differences of yours only others can see. Some are mature enough to listen to others and accept them. But many of others don't want to hear them from anyone and if you bravely point them out, they only blame you for hurting them. They want to believe they are who they think are. 

The person in question, who is actually the cause of the problem in the first place, eventually forced me to apologize for what I shouldn't be blamed for and I did, of course! That's the best way to deal with those who don't see themselves nor want to accept others' differences, you know. No big deal!

And I've come to think any distorted mind cannot be cleansed by honesty... keeping my mouth shut to their distortion and being awake to possible consequences of their acts are the key to accept their differences in that case. No matter how stubborn they are about accepting what is true, you'd better off accepting what they present themselves as. There's no good or bad in differences, simply they are different! Just a little caution required ;)



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